the craziest things happen here...

so we had quite an eventful day on monday. my poor little boy was rushed to the hospital. so before i tell you what happened to him, let me paint a picture for you real quick.

first of all as if things arent already hard enough around this house with jason being in the hospital last week and been outta work without pay. that is enough stress on a person. really!

so anyway, the day started off pretty normal for the most part. ethan got up he was whiny and was crying. i was upstairs and asked jasmine "what the heck is wrong with your brother?" she said he was mad cause he couldnt get into his room. well i locked the door cause i painted the night before. so anyway, made breakfast, went back up to watch cartoons in my bed with the kids. ethan seemed like he may have a fever. so when my friend got to the house to drop off her kids i gave ethan some motrin. he seemed to be ok just a bit whiny and feverish. nothing too bad i thought. he was running around playing inside outside inside outside having a good time. then he wanted to sit on my lap so i snuggled him for a few and he layed his head on my shoulder and started to dose it seemed. well then like a min or 2 went by and all of the sudden, he arched his back hands went up in the air and his eyes were lookin straight up at the ceiling. he was making a gurggly sound and it was like he was choking.i said i think he is having a seizure. i started to panic and then jason took him so i could call 911. he stopped breathing for a sec, and was just so outta it. he came to a little bit and by the time i called 911 a min or 2 later they were at the house to help. emt's and ambulance firetruck and cops. it was crazy. i was hysterical, crying, scared shitless and the most terrifying thing that i have ever went through with the kids or anything i think. that was by far the hardest thing to see my kid go through. just not responding to me and limp. the emt's helped him oxygen and stuff then off to the hosp in the ambulance. thank god that they are quick and we live 1 mile from the hosp. they did a check up on him, meds, temp, temp, temp, meds, xrays, an iv, heart stickers. all that, 6 hrs in the er and he has an ear infection. they said that little kids have febrile seizures. it is a fever induced seizure. uuummmm yeah they should call it a parent heart attack seizure.i pray to god that i do not ever have to see my baby like that again. he was scared i was scared. but they said that there is only a 20% chance that it could happen again. i am hopin not at all for this family.

it was such a crazy day. i cant stop thinking about it. i want the thought of it gone outta my mind. i am sooooo exhausted from it all. i am losing sleep thinking about what i could have done different but i dont think that i could have. i love that little boy more then words and cant for the life of me figure out why he has had such a hard time with things. stitches before 2, ambulance ride before 3. i dont get it. he has had it a bit rougher then i had ever imagined for a small little man. we will get through it i know it. god is watching us and has a plan. he is good i know it. i am blessed to have him and jasmine and jason and what we have in our lives. i am not complaining, i am human though. i try not to worry but at some time it can be hard for me not to let it happen.

anyway today he seems to be doin a bit better and back to being himself for the most part. thank you god!!!! please watch over my baby and keep him safe and healthy!!!

talking to an ex....

why is it that no one can really talk to an ex without weirdness or fighting? so we finally got the number to jason's ex and decided to give her a call. Wow! has she still not grown up. i don't get it we called with good intentions but she always seems to make things difficult for us. i called trying to see if i could just talk about stuff. you know the norm....how are you, how is austin, how is life, how is he doing in school ....lalala! just stuff like that. we have been outta touch cause we never know where she is or how to get a hold of her. we have tried so many times with her and still she does not want jason to be apart of his sons life. and thats pretty much what she makes it seem like. i mean it is water under the bridge what has happened in the past but it still is brought up. he is not a bad father, he pays child support and has tried to be apart of his sons life the whole time that we have been together. so really that says something for him, i mean he does have a life and a family here to. he has to work and take care of his life. but that doesnt change the love he has for the kid he never gets to see. at one time she asked us if he would give him up for adoption and he really did not want to. but he thought at another time that maybe it would be best for him and his son. but then after really thinking and praying about it, it just really didnt feel right no matter how much money he has to pay. i do feel like she has something to do with the raise in his support. anyway so i asked for him when i called and she said are you gonna talk to him or is jason. iw as like really chic. anyway i said jason is..... so she said austin do you wanna talk to your dad? he said my dad, is he on there? it was really cute so that just shows that he is curious of jason and wanted to speak to him. so they talked for a few minutes then she got on the phone and then thats is when it went sour. she does that every time. jason said i would like to have him for a wk or two this summer and she said why would he want to he has never left my site. she didnt even ask him. he is at an age that he can make his mind up. i mean it is not like we arent stable here. i just think that she is taking this situation to a bad level. we arent asking for him to move here. just to visit. that is the adult fair parent thing to do. she should be happy that jason is wanting to do more with him. though she has always said no to us. thats not ok. she is really wrong here. i dont understand why she cant be an adult here. jason is a good hard working person and father. i mean really she is making austin suffer cause she hates jason fo rsome lame ass reason. they are both to blame for the relationship not working cause apparently it was never really that good to begin with then you throw a kid on the fire and boooom! but i have faith that the Lord will provide jasons time when it is right for him and his other son to see one and other. ugh! anyway this situation is terrible and it is angry and ugly. i am done for now, i hate this.

he's home

i am soooo happy that jason is home finally. i would say that he had a 4 day vaca but i know that would be a lie. he was in pain and i know it was not fun.

die mrsa!

what the hell is it with this mrsa shit and my family? i mean really it has tried several times to over take my home and our bodies. i really don't understand how this shit keeps coming back. i mean besides the obvious. jason was admitted to the hospital saturday night after being there for what seemed to be forever. we got there at 11:06pm and me and the kids left at 3:10am. in all that time they took blood, stats, temp,registration,doc came in a few times, nurse came in a few times, cup of ice, cup of soda, pushed on his finger and it oozed. i mean i am glad that he is there and they can monitor this shit but it really seemed to take forever. when we walked in the ER last night the first thing i said was..."this seems like the happening place to be tonight" and for sure it really was. So anyway, jason is in the hospital with a bad case of mrsa. he is on an IV drip and IV antibiotics. they admitted him cause he was already on antis and they werent working so they had to give him something stronger and in him quicker. he is on pain. they drained his finger, by cutting it open and pulling out all the gooooo. so hopefully they wont have to do surgery but they said if the swelling does not go down that they will be doing surgery. i have faith that the Lord will take his pain away and heal him, it just seems like he can't/ we can't get a small break. i just want us to kick this mrsa shit outta the family. it all started with Ethan. he has had it several times and i have had it once. and wow i never want it again. it was prob the most painful thing i have ever experienced. when i got it i cried cause i finally found out what my little man was suffering from every time he had it. that broke my heart. so please anyone out there that prays please keep jason in your prayers for a little while. his healing is very important to us.

nothing really

so as usual i have nothing really that interesting to say. but anyway i got lots to blab about...lol! so i have really been tryin to change things around here. i have been thinking about this whole job situation and tryin to find one is unreal i have looked. i was even looking at places that i would rather not work at. i have applied a few different places and still nothing. i seems like you have to have a phd to work at turkeyhill, i mean come on really that is insane people. but i am really tryin to get a job with some kind of direction not just another lame-o position that i have to add to my application when i apply somewhere. i am at the point that i will take anything but i would rather do something with direction.anyway this damn thing has no direction..lol so bye!

mind games...

ok so this will be short and sweet..lol! so all day today i have been hearing music. i think that i am losing it cause i am in a silent room right now and i hear it. i have no clue what song it is but i hear the music like it is faint but i still hear the beat. it is like a soft calming beat.. WEIRD!!!!! i know it, i am losing it really. wtf! lol! i have to get up early and here i am on this damn computer talking to myself..does anyone really read this? i guess a few do. i am thankful for the comments and stuff that is really cool to know that someone out there is reading what i am pouring out on here. anyway, i gotta get some sleep 8am comes fast these days. peace out have a good one!!! ttys!

A birthday wish.....

So today is my wonderful hubby's birthday. He is 28 yrs old today. I feel so bad he was outta work yesterday cause his finger got really swollen. I thought it was a bug bite at first but it got really bad. It was so bad that he could not bend it at all. ugh! So off to the doctors we went yesterday. Of course since we have yet to switch docs since we moved I had to just call one real quick and get an appt. Hopefully it will go away and there will be no more pain. Anyway, he probably is having a suck ass bday cause he is working and has a big load of work today. We have no money so I couldnt get him a damn thing not even a card. So we made him one..lol! How lame are we.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JASON!!!! WE LOVE YOU!!!!!

So I got tagged for a thingy on here so here goes..

You are supposed to got to your pics and got to the 6th folder 6th pic and write about it..

This photo was taken, I think last summer sometime. It was the kids first time on that train system. They have been to Strasburg RR. But this was the first trip on the other one. They had a blast of course. We packed a lunch and drinks and went to Philly to meet a friend of mine. Which that was the hard part. I can not navigate around Philly to save my life. I was lost lost lost. It was hot I was getting pissed and then finally I made it to where I was going. Why is it that people think just cause you are from the area that you know Phila so well. Well let me tell ya they are so wrong. Anyway side bar sorry about that. My kids were sorta good on the train. They were asking 9 million questions like most kids. I was overall a hot but good day. It ended up being really late on the way home cause we missed the train so we had to take the last train and Ethan cried almost the whole way cause he was sooooo tired. But we had fun and thats what is important. We don't do it for ourselves we do it for our kids.

Anyway I know that you are supposed to tag people on here for this but I don't really know anyone on here so I will have to go with Cory on that one.. Sorry this was cute though..

Potty and the boy...

It has been 10 days since we started Ethan on this potty training expedition. Actually I have to give him all the credit because he really did start it all. Which to be honest that is how I wanted it to be. Ethan is doing better then I had anticipated. He has definitely had a few accidents but not as bad as I thought it would be. I thought it was gonna be a disaster like it was with Jasmine. I think that it was terrible with her because I was pushing for her to be trained. With Ethan I wanted nothing to do with it til he was good and ready. He is apparently ready..lol!! Yeah, for that I will tell you. I have no more interest in buying diapers. I am really amazed how well he is doing this transition, he really seems to enjoy being a big boy.. It is great that these 2 are getting to be a little bit more independent but at the same time it is bitter sweet. My babies are getting big and that is it. I am very proud of them they are my angels. Though sometimes they do not act like angels but ya know. So potty training a boy in my mind.......much easier then a girl. I was told the opposite, but every kid is different so I guess that does play a part in this as well. I do think though that I am gonna have a prob getting him to keep it in his pants.. yeah you think that it sounds funny but, not only does he want to show you his undies but he wants you to check out his man parts as well. yeah not a good thing, hopefully he will grow outta that quick!!

So he is really funny when it comes to going to the potty. Thank God he is not afraid of those darn auto flush toilets. Jasmine is terrified of them. I mean really does it need to flush that loud. Who's brilliant invention was that... boo on them for that one..He says momma me pee when he has to pee it is cute huh? We got him a travel potty seat with lightning mcqueen on it...lol! He loves it!

So anyway his stats are as follows: 10 day diaper free, 6 accidents, 4 days without accidents.. I am so proud. Keep up the hard work Ethan!!! Momma is soooo proud of you.

Anyway, well I guess this is it for now!